OUR EXPECTATIONS THAT MAKE LIFE DIFFICULT

 

 

OUR EXPECTATIONS THAT MAKE LIFE DIFFICULT

 

Füsun was feeling really tired. She had a life she could not keep up with. A life that was always left unfinished, always incomplete... “However, if my mother supported my children a little bit, life would not have been so difficult for me,” she thought. “What would happen if my mother-in-law cooked two pots of food and left them every day...” 

But both of them were avoiding work with the excuse that they were getting old. She was ready to give Zeynep the money she wanted as long as she came home regularly every day and did the cleaning properly. But then, every day was another excuse. What about Kenan, her manager? She knew he had two small children. Knowing this, why did he want her to work overtime? There could be nothing but ulterior motives. Oh, especially her office friend Nazan... Füsun felt her selfishness from the very beginning. She saw how hard she worked, what would happen if she always did the monthly reports? She couldn't find anything to say to her husband. Shouldn't he help the most? But he was always talking about the intensity of his work and long shifts. I thought life was common?

 

“Ooof off,” she sighed. Did she expect too much? What was there in these requests... In fact, she expected from everyone what they could do, even what she should do. How strange these people were. What was the point of relationships in life if even those closest to her couldn't understand her.

 

She expected some understanding, some support. “Everyone in this world is in their own trouble. No one understands anyone, not even your mother,” Füsun thought. 

 

How much Füsun expected from this life...

 

• “My mum takes care of my kids…”

• “My mother-in-law cooks my meals…”

• “The cleaning woman should do the cleaning, ironing and cooking on the same day…”

• “My supervisor at work knows I have children. He should not write me overtime…”

• “Let my office mate write the monthly reports…”

• “My husband should take half of my load…”

• “The traffic light should always be green…”

 

But which of these expectations were realized? Of course, none of them. Life didn't work that way. You couldn't do things with what someone else did for you.

 

The more you waited for someone to do something, the more nervous and tired you gotsince things were either not done as she wanted or not done at the time she expected. Naturally, what was done under these conditions was of no value. Mutually tired and unhappy lives were being lived...

 

What should she have done then?

 

First of all, it was necessary to realize and then accept that the children we had, our home, our work were all our own responsibility. So, instead of waiting for someone else to do something, one should think “what can I do myself?” and concentrate on one's own reasons and costs.

 

• How can I find practical solutions to make the process of raising my children easier?

• What can I do for the organization and cleanliness of my home?

• What should I pay attention to in order to work more efficiently at work?

• What can I do and what should I not do to improve my relationships with my friends and family?

• What are the aspects of myself that I need to change and correct in order to be more successful and happier?

 

The way to be happy in life is to look at one's own actions and to change them... To ask the questions to oneself and to produce the solutions oneself...

 

As she thought about these things, Füsun'sinner voice began to change...

 

Now we are in control of our lives. We start to direct our expectations towards ourselves, focus on what we can do and give up what we cannot change. As our expectations from life and our requests from the people around us become more reasonable, our unhappiness decreases and our satisfaction increases...

 

This life is ours. We are the ones who live this life. We can only take control of this life by doing something for ourselves. How long can we live our own lives by waiting for others to do something for us? Are we always going to wait for someone's pleasure, honor, understanding and support to get somewhere in this life? But life somehow flows on without waiting for us... In that life, we either wait for others to do the right things for us at the right time, or we take the helm ourselves...

 

So, what is the management of placing one's expectations in the right place in order to lead a happier and more successful life?

 

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Experiential Design Teaching is a knowledge community that produces strategies for designing our future based on past experiences.

 

It offers methods for people to have happier, more successful and better relationships.

 

The following programs "Who is Who", "Mastery in Relationships" and "Success Psychology" Programs contribute to achieving this goal.

 

All the transferred knowledge in Experiential Design Teaching consists of truthful information and is valid at all times, in all aspects, and for all mankind.

 

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