Beauty Lies In The Eyes Of The Beholder

Mankind has been given the ability to perceive the reality of the external world through its sensory organs. Dozens of details we see, various words and sounds we hear, different flavors we taste, scents we smell, and sensations we feel... Every moment we live, we witness different events, situations, and people.

However, we cannot perceive every message in its whole reality. For example, it is not possible to see every detail while looking at a specific direction. While observing a landscape, we focus on the waves in the sea, but miss the unexpected smoke from the chimney of the house around the corner. Or while listening intently to our lover's narration, the purrs of a hungry cat passing by do not reach our ears... Not every smell attracts our attention, until one of them reminds us of a memory from the past... But, why? What could be the reason for perceiving only some of the messages from the external world and erasing most of them?

In every experienced event, in every established relationship, and every witnessed story, there are rights and wrongs. In a conflict, there are justifiable and unjustifiable sides. Everyone has positive behaviors as well as negative ones, which cause harmful reactions in the end. 

People make choices...

About focusing on what's right or wrong...

About seeing own rightness or the rightness of others...

About perceiving the positiveness or negativeness in people...

Experiential Design teaching states that: "People’s desires determine their curiosity, interest, concentration and perception..."

There are times when people focus on the negativity in life. This causes emotional activation, frustration, sadness, and overreaction... In a relationship, they tend to ignore positive behaviors. Despite all the sacrifices, and support, people can be more likely to perceive the shortcomings. Missed dinners, forgotten special occasions, thoughtlessly spoken words in front of family... Sometimes mistakes affect relationships more than correct and beautiful behaviors.

A child in adolescence sometimes can ignore challenges and struggles that his family had to overcome while raising him. That he was rejected when he wanted to go out, the evenings when he wasn't allowed to watch TV because he had to study, being restricted by his family will be enlarged in his perception...

Sometimes a person wants enhanced opportunities so much that changing jobs becomes a necessity. And from that moment on, the shortcomings of his current job, the mistakes of his colleagues, and the alleged injustices of his boss, will grow into a mountain in his eyes...

As the desire to escape from the current relationship, job, and social environment becomes stronger, people begin to focus on the negative details and erase the positive ones... They ignore the benefits and pleasure they have. The more that desire grows, the more this will lead to a distorted justice in perception and transmission. And in the end, this will drift into harmful reactions and decisions…

There are times when, amongst all the negativity, people concentrate more on the positive details in life. Sees more right than wrong, and more beauty than ugliness...

When a mother looks at her child, she does not see mischiefs, the expenses for his needs, or the sleepless nights. On the contrary, she focuses on the happiness his presence causes, the warmth she feels when he hugs her, and the smile on his face. "He has a smile that is worth everything..." she says. And all the troubles fly away...

Or when a man finds trust and peace in a relationship which he has looked for all his life, he doesn't worry much about that person's shortcomings. The weight she gained or doesn’t mind the missed details in the relationship. He can say, "Well, I love her just the way she is."

Sometimes people enjoy their job so much that they tolerate working outside of working hours and do not worry about the trouble of traveling or periods of economic hardship. Despite all kinds of difficulties, they focus more on the benefit and pleasures they derive from their work because, as the desire for getting closer increases, the tendency to erase negative details will also grow. Positive details begin to enter through the mind's filter. The saying of the elders, "One is beautiful to those he loves..." gains meaning...

So, how can we manage our perception of external reality? In life, there are relationships we cannot abandon, jobs we cannot leave unfinished, and situations we cannot turn our backs on. Our desires push us to turn away and to concentrate on the negativity. But it is in one's best interest to solve the problem before leaving the stage.

Well then...

If we want to enhance my relationship, instead of concentrating on what our partner lacks, the things s/he didn’t say, and didn’t do, we should try in every moment to focus on the things s/he is doing right... Chase the opportunities to thank him/her...

My boss at the job we want to leave... What can we learn from him? What positive behavior does our colleague have that we lack? Being more organized, having better relationships, or having technical knowledge on a subject... What can we add to ourselves by modeling others?

Our immediate environment, relatives, neighbor, neighborhood... There are traits that we can add to ourselves from the people we share the stage with. Our neighbor's compassionate approach when her child misbehaves...The grocer's concern for his customers... Our sister-in-law's efforts to make everyone comfortable when hosting guests... The apartment janitor doing his job with a smile on his face every morning... Uan old neighbour who feeds and waters the neighborhood dogs, with sincere compassion for them...

If people intend to see beauty, life offers them the beauty in every detail. Every people, even the ones we cannot communicate, orhthe ones we describe as incorrigible, have positive characteristics, or at least some positive behaviors. People who intend to see the beauty and the truth, even if it is like a needle in a haystack, will search and find that detail...

And as people’s perception betters and justice settles in their perception, their transmission betters and becomes justifiable. The choices they make becomes beneficial. Their reactions will be of the kind that makes both themselves and others smile.

People who better their perception and transmission, better their life. Regardless of the opportunities they have and people they are in contact with, they begin to beautify their world and transform their life into a garden of paradise...

May we be able to turn our direction in life to see the beauty and the truth...

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Experiential Design Teaching is a knowledge community that produces strategies for designing our future based on past experiences.

It offers methods for people to have happier, more successful and better relationships.

The following programs "Who is Who", "Mastery in Relationships" and "Success Psychology" Programs contribute to achieving this goal.

All the transferred knowledge in Experiential Design Teaching consists of truthful information and is valid at all times, in all aspects, and for all mankind.

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