Comparisons

When he got home, he just threw his bag aside and went to his room. Mother had noticed. She quietly followed him to his room.

- Dear son, it looks like you have a problem... Is there anything I can help you with?

- Forget it, mom! It does not work! Look at the score I got from the exam I studied so hard! I am ashamed to tell my classmates my score.

- Why son? After all, everyone has a score according to their own process.

- How? According to their own process? Look at my score. How will these lessons be improved? I'm way behind most of my friends.

Mehtap still had faith in him because she knows that his son's scores had risen from almost zero to this level. Ahmet never liked to study before. He was an active child. He was a child who chased after the game more than the lesson… He could not sit to study his lesson, and could not concentrate even if he sat down in the classroom. The school was rough for him. On the other hand, Mehtap could not keep an order about Ahmet's studies because of her business. That's why she was so annoying. A few months ago, she had decided to address her attention to this situation and suspended her other agendas for a while.

Mankind would deteriorate, slowly... And mankind would improve, again slowly... Being aware of this, she created a study system that would start from where Ahmet could do and gradually increase his tempo. In fact, at first, she was sitting at the table with his son. Seeing that his mother was so interested in him, Ahmet realized that it was an important issue, even though he had not given importance to studying until now. He wanted to get it done, too, but he didn't know where to start.

His mother was managing the process well. At the beginning, to sitting on the table was a success for them.  Then they moved on slowly one by one. After a while, his scores began to rise. He knew that if he continued to pay the right price, he would score very high.

Compare

Mehtap took her son's hand as she sat next to the bed.

- Son... When you compare yourself to your friends, you get annoyed by your low scores. But some of your friends have a regular study system for years. You have been trying to study for a few months. If you make comparisons based on the results of others, you will be very wrong. Man should make his comparison according to his own past. Otherwise, it cannot be fair.

Yes, they are getting high marks right now. But don't you realize how far you've come from when you first started? Compared to your own yesterday, you are getting slightly better results every day. When you've come this far, if you look at the results of others and despair, won't you stop your progress? Then wouldn't you be doing yourself the worst of it?

For example, your aunty has taken care of her sisters and brother since she was little and went into the kitchen. How many kinds of food does it produce in a minute, right?

- Yes, mom, but you cook very well, too.

- Maybe, but I learned most of the things after I got married. Even I didn't know the names of the dishes, can you imagine? What would happen if I looked at your aunty and said I can't cook that well and stopped cooking?

Ahmet felt relieved. Yes, although there have been occasional fallings since he started studying, he had progressed a lot in the end. He was also appreciated by his teachers. In fact, the discipline he gained while studying worked for him in other areas of his life. No, it was not the time to despair. He could not stop the movement as he went further each day than before. 

Mehtap felt that her son was relieved. Continued;

- Worrying about other people's results is something that puts a person very backwards, my son. The comparison of a person should always be with himself. It should always be with its own past. Everyone has their good sides, as well as sides that need improvement. The important thing is, am I better than I was before? If we evaluate ourselves by looking at the score, success, money, health and relationships of others, we will not be fair to ourselves.

Compare

Experiential Design Teaching says; “The human mind works by comparison.”

The definition of something as better or worse according to the person is revealed by comparison. However, comparisons should always be with one's own process so that he can see his progress. And it is one of the biggest mistakes of mankind; concerned with the results of others. Those results are the results of the reasons created by that person. People can start on similar issues, from different places, at different costs. For this reason, the most real comparison is the comparison with oneself. And human happiness and unhappiness are formed by comparison. 

Just as a person can be unhappy by looking at the richer people than himself, and be happy by looking at the poorer. It's like feeling unsuccessful when looking at the one who is more successful than himself, but seeing himself as successful when looking at the one who is less successful. This means that the only rival of man in life is himself. Oneself is the one who has to evaluate...  Oneself is the one who has to compete and who has to surpass.

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